Team's Last Fortress: Medicswap
by undyingUmbrage
Summary: The Medic has to leave the team for a bit and Luna comes in as his temporary replacement. Which, for a lot of reasons, is not a good time, although she's trying to make the best of it. There isn't really much shipping and it's rate T for language, blood, and gore.
1. Meet the (temporary) Medic

The Administrator shifts in her seat. She takes a puff from her cigarette, the only light on her coming from the monitors in front of her.

"We have a problem," Miss Pauling comes in the room.

"What is it?" The Administrator asks, hidden from Miss Pauling's view by the big chair.

"Apparently the police are investigating Medic right now," Miss Pauling replies.

"I wouldn't think Medic would be the one to tip them off. What are they trying to pin him with?"

"Practicing without a license, of all things."

The Administrator cackles, "We'll have to hide him until we can get some papers faked."

"What will the mercenaries do without a medic?"

Getting up, the Administrator walks up to the wall of monitors.

"We'll just have to find a replacement Medic."

"Where are we going to find a replacement Medic on such short notice?" Miss Pauling walks closer, barely being illuminated by the blue light.

"I have an old friend who owes me a favor." The Administrator grabs a post-it note from one of the monitors. "Dr. Klim" is written on it.

 **-Time skip-**

Seven unhappy men and one unknown stand before Miss Pauling.

"Where is Doktor?" the biggest man in the group asks in his thick Russian accent.

Pushing her glasses back up her nose, Miss Pauling replies, "He had something he needed to take care of, so he won't be here for some time."

"Are we expected to fight wisout a medic in ze meantime?" the Frenchman scowls.

"Whatta you care, Spy? Yer always too busy bein' a backstabbin' a-hole to need a medic," the scrawny Bostonian interjects.

"If he does need healin', he just tricks the enemy Doc inta healin' him," the Australian says.

Miss Pauling sighs, thinking _A fight between these three is the last thing I want to see right now._

"You're not going without a medic," she smiles. "We've arranged for a temporary replacement."

"Who is it?" the shortest man asks, tipping up his hardhat.

As if on cue, a red headed woman walks into the room and stands next to Miss Pauling. Everything about her seemed to scream how unprepared she was for battle. The Bostonian starts fixing his hair when he sees her.

"Everyone, this is your new medic," Miss Pauling points to the other woman.

"I look forward to working with you all," the ginger smiles.

"Miss Pauling, I do not think you realise that this is a _battlefield_!" a man yells, his eyes hidden by his M1 helmet.

"Aye, it's no place for a wee lass with no experience," another man agrees, adjusting his eyepatch.

"I can assure you that she is fully capable of this. She wouldn't have been chosen if that wasn't the case." Miss Pauling glances at her watch. "Look, guys, I have to go. She's not going to be here for very long so just try to be nice."

When no one responds, Miss Pauling says, "I'll be back after your next mission." Everyone says good-bye as she leaves. The redhead fidgets a bit. The Bostonian scoots up next to her, trying to look cool.

"Before you ask, the name's Scout," he says. The woman takes a step away from him.

"It's nice to meet you. What are the rest of your names?"

"The name's Engineer, ma'am, but most folks call me Engie," the shortest man doffs his hardhat (in a cute Texan way not in that Brony way).

"Ay'm the Demoman, but ay've been called Demo" the man with the eyepatch says.

"Hrm hrmm hrda," the person in the gas mask sounds.

"That's Pyro," Scout translates. "Be careful around him, he's kinda…" He does the hand sign for crazy.

"As I have served overseas and earned many medals it is only fitting that I be called Soldier!" the man in the M1 helmet proclaims.

"Spy," the Frenchman mutters, taking out a cigarette and lighting it.

"I am Heavy veapons guy," the biggest man says.

"An' I'm Sniper," the Australian fixes his aviator shades.

"Since it'd be kinda weird callin' you Medic, d'ya mind if I call ya sweet cheeks?" Scout asks.

"Actually, I would prefer it if you all just called me L," she replies.

-insert obligatory Death Note reference here-

"So, Miss L," Spy removes his cigarette from his mouth, "do you have any prior battle experience?"

L thinks. "A little."

"How many patients have ya treated?" Sniper asks.

"A… few."

"Do you even know how to use the equipment?" Soldier inquires.

"Yes, I was informed on that before I arrived."

"Who did ye work for before?" Demoman asks.

"Actually, I was working for a geneticist and engineer."

"Is that so?" Engie smiles.

"Forget it," Spy taps his cigarette before putting it back in his mouth. "This will be a waste of time." The masked man starts walking off.

"As much as I hate to agree with Spy, he's right. This'll be a bloody trainwreck." Sniper heads out the door to outside.

"Da," Heavy glares at her before marching off.

"I am going to leave angrily too!" Soldier shouts, starting his own mad walk away.

One by one the rest of the men leave, until only Pyro was left with L. Doing what she assumes is a smile, Pyro offers her some candy. She thanks him and accepts it, thinking, _Maybe this won't be so bad._

* * *

Thank you so much for reading. I'm referring to Pyro using he pronouns. It's probably going to be edited at some point. Please leave a review and let me know how I'm doing.


	2. No Pacifists in This Warzone

BLU team is best team.

* * *

"Are ya ready?" Scout asks, walking into Medic's lab where L has taken up work, Pyro with him.

"Yes, I was just watching one last tape," L replies, pausing the small television in front of her. The screen displays a square-jawed man in a lab coat.

"Are ya sure you've got enough?"

"I've studied a lot of these tapes so I know exactly what your actual Medic would do in any situation," L smiles, facing him.

"No, I mean a weapon. You can't go out into a battlefield without a gun," Scout says, and Pyro nods.

"Oh, right," L sweats, putting her back to them. "I'll find something, you go on ahead."

"Alright," Scout says, then he takes off. Pyro stays in the doorway.

"Go ahead, Pyro," L looks back to smile at him. Pyro nods and motions his hands as if to say 'Hurry.' Then he leaves.

L sighs, walking around the metal examination table to the far wall. Hung up on display is every gun, medigun, and saw the old Medic had. L already has the regular medigun on her back. Fingers shaking, she grabs the syringe gun in both hands. Even though it doesn't use bullets, the thought of what this thing can do makes her feel dread deep in her soul, and she has the strong desire to throw the thing as far as she can. L takes a deep breath and clips the weapon to her belt.

"I hope I'll never have to use it," she prays.

Looking back at the wall, L reaches for the least intimidating bonesaw on display. Her fingers freeze just before they touch it. In L's mind plays the footage she watched of what the Medic would do with this.

Avoiding bullets and explosions he'd swing his arm with this blade in hand, as easily as a child would swing a bat at a piňata. The blood that splattered around and covered the Medic's blade and coat was the candy. Whatever it went through was no longer there. He usually went for his enemies' necks, and the lucky ones would be decapitated. L shivers.

"Hrrhrr!" Pyro's voice pulls her out of her trance.

"Coming," she calls.

"Thirty seconds until the mission begins," a woman's voice sounds throughout the building as L exits the office with Pyro, happy to leave the bonesaw behind.

When they arrived at the silver doors to outside, Soldier called for L, somehow managing to have hurt himself before the battle even started. She pulls out the medigun and flips the switch to start healing him. Taking a deep breath, she thinks, _I don't have enough time to have the ubercharge ready before it starts._

L watches the men run around, taunting, and dancing. She tries to run around herself to share their enthusiasm, but her chest feels tight.

 _Why are they so relaxed about this? Is it because they know they can't die?_

"Ten seconds until the mission begins," the Administrator's voice rings out. L takes more deep breaths, counting down the seconds with everyone else.

"4...3...2...1."

The doors slide open and everyone runs out. Soldier fires a rocket at his own feet, launching himself skyward, and out of L's medigun range. L looks around and sees that the only person close enough for her to overheal is Pyro, so she turns the medigun onto him. He gives her a thumbs up over his shoulder as he leads her through the wooden barricade, straight towards the raised, sun-bleached platform where fighting had already begun.

Her team, the BLU team, had made it to the point first. Heavy is standing on the metal circle, unloading his minigun on the REDs that are trying the direct route. Demo launches grenades at enemies that try to come through the side route, turning them into an explosion of limbs and blood. Engie has set up a dispenser behind the platform and is working on making a sentry near the point. The rest of the team is running around to get kills. L is so distracted by all the chaos that she almost lets Scout burn to death.

She turns the medigun on him and runs to try and keep up with the batter. He leaves her range just as Soldier calls for her, dropping out of the sky and hitting an enemy Pyro with a shovel.

L heals him, making sure to stay behind him. She glances at the Ubercharge dial and reads that it's finally at 100%. When Soldier's health is full, she heads over to Heavy.

Heavy has a surprising amount of health, but he is standing only a few feet from the dispenser.

"Heavy, I have an ubercharge ready!" she shouts over the gunfire.

"No!" the man yells back.

"But-"

"Only Doktor ubercharges me!"

L just stares at him. There's a million things that she wants to say to him, but she knows that this isn't the time.

"90 seconds left in the mission," the Administrator's voice rings out. L turns back to the enemy side of the map to see an enemy Heavy, glowing metallic red, along with the RED version of herself, emerge from behind the barricade, charging at the point and firing.

The sentry blows out from the RED Heavy's fire, and L hears the BLU Heavy cry out as he falls to the ground, the RED Spy standing behind where he was.

Before L can realize what's going on, all the gunfire is directed at her. She feels a bullet tear through her left cheek and her feet start moving. She runs back to the BLU team's side, passed the wooden barricade and into the base, covering her bullet wound with her hand.

As soon as she makes it through the doors, she collapses against a wall.

"The enemy has taken the point!" L barely hears the Administrator's voice over her panicked breathing. The other BLU's run passed her and out the doors, only to respawn a few seconds later. The sound of her heart pounding distracted her from noticing how many times they did.

"Dang flabbit! They're spawn campin'!" Engie yelled, throwing his hard hat to the ground.

"What the hell? We at least gave 'em a chance!" Scout pouted.

 _What did I do to deserve this?_ L thinks, _Do you hate me, Sigma? Is that why you sent me here?_

L feels a soft pat on her shoulder. She looks to her right at Pyro, who has been sitting next to her for sometime. He holds out a bandage to her. She glances at the hand covering the bullet wound she forgot about.

"Thank you," she smiles, taking the bandage from him. While trying to hide the wound from view, L puts the bandage over it. Pyro tilts his head.

Once the wound is covered, L says, "Thank you, Pyro, I'm alright now."

Pyro stands up and offers her his hand. She takes it and he helps her up. Glancing around, she sees that everyone is looking at her.

"You ready to get back out there, son?" Soldier asks.

L nods.

"What's your uber at?"

"It's ready to go."

"OK, Heavy-"

"No."

Everyone stared at the Russian, the Heavy, the man who is always the First Choice when it comes to ubercharging.

Breaking the silence, L says, "If he doesn't want to ubercharge then let's not force him. I can uber Soldier instead."

Everyone gets into position in front of the two doors, L behind Soldier with the medigun on him.

She takes a deep breath. _It doesn't matter why he sent me here. All that matters is that I'm here._

"Thirty seconds until the mission ends," the Administrator's voice sounds.

Almost immediately afterwards, Soldier shouts, "Charge!"

L flips the uber switch as they run out. Her whole body starts glowing with a metallic blue light, and she is filled with a tingling sensation. She feels stronger than she has ever had. The excitement and adrenaline makes her laugh. _Thank you for sending me here._

When the ubercharge wears off they have made it to the point. The BLU team quickly reclaims it and keeps close to it, making it easier for her to keep everyone healed.

As she runs around her teammates, she still feels the echoes of the strength the uber provided her. She's still thinking about it when the timer reaches zero.

* * *

Thank you for reading. Please leave a review and tell me what you think.


	3. Git Gud and You're Gonna Go Far Kid

Miss Pauling walks in on a party. Everyone is sitting around a table, some are drinking, some are yelling, most are congratulating L and bragging about their exploits in the battle.

"Looks like you guys are having fun," Miss Pauling grins.

The mercenaries jump up when they see her, encouraging her to sit down and have a drink.

"I'm afraid I don't have time to hang out. I wanted to tell you guys 'Good Job out there.' Also, I need to speak with the Medic."

The redheaded woman stands up, "Actually, could you call me L, not Medic?"

"Sure," Miss Pauling smiles, "Could you come out into the hall for a bit?"

L nods and makes her way through the room and out into the hall behind the woman in purple.

"Listen, you did a good job out there, better than expected for your first fight," Miss Pauling says as soon as they're far enough from the room that they can barely hear the party.

"Thank you," L smiles.

"However," Miss Pauling continues, "there are some concerns. You didn't use a gun at all during the fight. Even though your role as a Medic focuses more on healing your teammates, there will be times when you will have to shoot a gun. If you don't know how to, I recommend asking someone like Sniper to teach you.

"The next thing: you need to remember that, in the field, the mission comes before your life. You _will_ die out there. That's why there's Respawn. We're aware of your… Situation, and have accommodated for that in the system.

L looks at the ground.

"You also need to work out whatever is going on between you and Heavy. I know the guys can be cold to newcomers, but you need to work it out before it can impair the mission."

L nods.

"And one final thing."

L looks back up.

"Take care of that wound. The guys will know something's up if that's not healed."

"I know," L says, touching her cheek, "the medigun doesn't heal ABT and I haven't had time to apply more."

"Well, you've got a couple of days before the next battle. Use it to get along with everyone. Now," Miss Pauling pushes her glasses up her nose, "I think I've kept you from your victory party long enough. Go back and have fun."

"Are you sure you don't want to join us?" L asks.

"I appreciate the invitation, but I have a lot more work to do before the day is over."

"Well, it was nice seeing you again."

"You too," Miss Pauling says, turning to leave.

As she walks through the halls, she thinks, _It was a mistake hiring this girl. She's too nice. What was the Administrator thinking? We're supposed to be employing mercenaries, not civilians!_

Before she can realize it, Miss Pauling makes her way outside. She pauses and looks up at the dark sky, a cool breeze brushing against her skin.

"Whatever, let's just finish this up."

Miss Pauling climbs into her truck and drives over to the RED base.

The atmosphere among the REDs is more somber. Only a few of the members are drinking together, and they are not nearly as rowdy as the celebrating BLUs.

Miss Pauling located the RED team redhead in the Medic's office.

"May I have a word with you, Medic?" she says, walking in.

"Oh sure, come on in," the woman smiles, "Medic, I just love the sound of that."

"I'd like to start off by saying that your performance today was better than we anticipated."

"But, we lost."

"Regardless, your adjustment to this has overall been better than that of your BLU counterpart."

"Is that so?" the Medic smiles, and Miss Pauling sees something in her eyes that wasn't in the BLU's. Something that unnerved her, more so than anything she''s seen working with a bunch of homicidal maniacs.

"Well, we look forward to seeing your performance improve. I recommend using the next few days off to work on your skills and get along with everyone."

"Don't worry, Miss Pauling, there will definitely be something for you to see."

 _I don't doubt that,_ Miss Pauling thinks, before clearing her voice and saying, "Well then, have a good night."

"You too, Miss Pauling," the Medic turns around as Miss Pauling leaves, a grin on her face and a plan in her head.

 _That's weird. With all the others, the RED and BLU counterparts are almost completely identical. But those two are surprisingly different._

Miss Pauling makes it back to her car.

"I don't think this is going to end well," she mutters, then turns the key in the ignition.

* * *

This stuff is probably going to read like conspiracy theory ramblings.

Here is my theory on the Respawn system:

1\. It's a teleportation system combined with resurrection. It teleports the bodies from the battle and brings those bodies back to life. It doesn't really explain why there's identical RED and BLU though. It's not likely that all 9 classes have identical twins. But considering how ridiculous the TF2 canon is, I wouldn't rule it out (Graymann was raised by Eagles for pete's sake). I don't mean that in a negative way.

2\. This story relies more on this theory: It's a cloning system. New bodies are generated directly when someone dies. Maybe the genetics of the clones have been altered so that the bodies immediately decay upon death. This can also explain why there's identical RED and BLU, one or both teams is/are cloned. The Originals of the Classes were either on the teams, and are long dead, or are being kept somewhere. If this is the case, then it explains why no one is bothered by the fact that they have basically killed themselves, they are either aware that there's clones, they have been made to not be concerned with it, or they don't recognize their counterpart as identical to them.

Either way I think the Respawn is something developed by Engineer's family. Maybe it was originally powered by Australium but was eventually altered to use other power sources.

3\. The final option is that it doesn't matter at all and will never be explained in the TF2 canon. Which is probably the most likely.

Thank you for reading. Please leave me a review and let me know if anyone even wants to read more of this.


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